So I got my father's old motorcycle at my grandparents' place, but then I had to go help my squad (led by Captain America) take down the giant Voltron robot in the toy store. All the toys had some manner of destructive effects based on the things they represented - the Nerf bow was like the torque bow from Gears of War, for example. I clambered up on the uprights and started peppering the robot from above (he was only like fifteen feet tall), but he knocked me off and then I woke up.

I really need more than one life in my dreams.

It's like the creme filling of depression.

Depression and insomnia are just not allowed to team up, goddammit.

I came up with these at work the other day. Enjoy!

It seems that, in speech, our friend Yoda
Would, rather than comma, use coda
His syntax, so furtive
Lends well to recursive
Patterns of "al fine, da coda."

When working upon your new lim'ricks
Don't forget to include raunchy gimmicks
Like a haiku sans nature
Your readers will hate'cha
If you eschew tits, ass, and big dicks

To all of you math-minded lot
Who find rhymed equations so hot
With numbers, you're handy
Just please make it randy
And include the occasional twat

There was a young man hailed from Normal
Who thought that sex should be quite formal
He consistently fucks
Whilst wearing a tux
Though he sometimes puts beads up his cornhole

A whore on the streets of Willimantic
For a heroin fix once grew frantic
Until finally a trick
Slipped her dough to take dick
And then junk brought relief quite gigantic

Requiem for a Dream, in Limerick form:
There was a bright young lad named Harry
Loved by mom, friend, and girl (who he'll marry)
But his epic addiction
Is the hero of this fiction
And it wins in the end, which is scary

Submitted to LimerickDB. Wish me luck!

I had a bunch of inspiration at... shudder... Wal-Mart today. It had nothing to do with my surroundings... I had just been listening to Modest Mouse a lot and reflected upon the fact that there's not a lot of explicitly atheistic music in the world. And then I got a bunch of ideas so I wrote them down on receipt tape. Some of these are "connected," but most are just disparate spur-of-the-moment flashes that I managed to capture on paper. I want to put them somewhere because I'm not going to hold on to receipt tape, so here it is:

We lost the plot
the very moment we thought
that there was ever a god
watching over this rock
- - -
If we'd just drop all our fairy tales
Then maybe we could see
That each and every one
Of life's great mysteries
Just flows naturally
From the properties
Of reality
And then we'd realize
That there's no magic at all
Behind all the beauty and the wonder and the loveliness
And that's the real magic trick -
How the Universe managed to find a way to be aware of itself
All by itself.
- - -
In the beginning, there was nothing
Except for all of the everything
That was sitting around doing nothing
Except being the source for all of the everything
And we see it today
And we think there's no way
That everything could be everything
Without coming from somewhere else.
- - -
And it sat and did nothing
'Til it started trying everything
And it keeps on doing everything
Until it can do anything
- - -
And the changes kept repeating
And the things, they kept changing
And soon everything was different
And now everything's amazing
If you only know where to look
If you only know how to see
But you think that certain people
From millennia ago
Somehow found all of the answers
And they really oughtta know
'Cause their book's been around so long
But what if they got it all wrong?
- - -
I simply can't believe
That an ancient book or our family tree
Holds the One Truth of the Universe
And if you disagree
Then that's the last real thought you'll have
'Cause they did the rest of your thinking first

So yeah, I still need music, and other lyrics, but this is pretty much just a dumping ground for this stuff right now. Semi-poetic aphorisms FTW, eh?

Roommate!
Need a roommate!
For to help pay all this goddamn rent!
Near the
Town of Normal!
We have got a really big basement!

So yeah: rent is $350/month + utilities (cable/intarwebz, water, gas, & lightning) divided by three people. Entire bedroom available, plus plenty of basement space. Has washing machine, dryer, dishwasha, detached garage, and two bathrooms. The ideal candidate will be cool, rad, and full of the awesome. Need moar roommate for roommate-has. KTHXBYE.

And now, some dudes goofing off hard:


EDIT FOR OMG AWESOME:

OK, so I planned on wearing my black fleece sweater from the Gap to my interview this morning, but now I can't find it anywhere. I haven't worn it in a while, so I was pretty sure it was in the "sweater" section of my closet. But it's not... and neither is my navy blue fleece sweater from LL Bean. Nor is either of them in any of my laundry, or any of my boxes, or the basement, or any of the various closets about. I may have left them at my parents' place on some trip, but it's unlikely that they wouldn't be found, as they were both gifts from my mom and she remembers like everything she gets me. Anyway, if anyone has been plagued by a mysterious black and/or navy blue sweater(s), please let me know, and I will be more than happy to solve your problem.

I have an interview on Wednesday! Hooray!

It's at Wal-Mart! Boo!

But it's still income! Hooray!

But it's all the way across town! Boo!

So it's pros and cons. But hopefully this will come through. My availability seems to mesh fairly well with their needs, so this could work out. Wish me luck!

So Adam Lee, one of my many, many heroes, does this thing called The Humanist Symposium. It's pretty awesome, and you should check it out. However, he needed hosts for 2009, and I volunteered for one of the slots, and also mentioned that I was interested in contributing. He wrote back, in part, "As far as contributing to an upcoming edition, all you have to do is e-mail me the URL of the post you'd like to be considered. From a look at your blog, your January 7 post on the Antenna galaxies looks like just the sort of thing we're looking for. How about that one?"

To recap, my hero had a look at my stuff and liked something. Hooray for me!

So here is the latest Humanist Symposium, hosted over at An Apostate's Chapel, featuring a short article on astronomy by yours truly! Once again: Glee!

So my grown-up blog is off to a steady, if slow, start. However, Daylight Atheism recently posted an open call for hosts of the Humanist Symposium. I feel like I'm throwing down with the big kids here. We'll see how this goes, I guess.

Blargh, want moar job. I need another job to do more job-have. My "longshot" turned out to be not so much of a longshot, after all, I'm pretty hopeful about that one. It's just farther than I thought. Also: sleep is for the weak!

WARNING: VERY NSFW!

Behind the cut below, there is a picture. You will probably react very strongly to this picture, no matter your politics, ethics, or metaphysical beliefs. It appears to be a picture of a foot protruding from a bloody mess - not just any foot, but a human foot, that of an infant. As it turns out, this photo was actually taken within days of a perfectly successful birth.

( There's just one problem. )

I'm running the risk that my naiveté may show here, but this is way worse than just about anything I'd ever expected. "Just politics," my ass. No, my job is "just" my job - anything, and I mean anything, that I fuck up can be put right in a day at most, no matter how long afterward it comes to light. I'm simply not that fucking important. This guy can fuck up lives. Or end them. Yeah, OK, that particular story is still set in Allegedland, sure; this one ain't:

On October 8, Blagojevich told a person described only as "Individual A" that he was willing to make $8 million available for Children's Memorial Hospital, but "I want to get [Hospital Executive 1] for 50."

Individual A felt that Blagojevich was talking about a $50,000 campaign contribution from the hospital's chief executive officer and that the $8 million referred to a recent commitment by Blagojevich to secure state funds via "some type of pediatric care reimbursement."

How fucking disgusting is that? "Just politics." Shut your fuckin' mouth.

OK, so the news guys are covering this way better than I ever could, and I'm probably a bit more outraged than ought to be realistic, considering A) the corruption in politics that we don't see, B) the corruption in politics that we do see, but of which I am not aware, and C) the fact that our mobster ancestry has hung over our heads pretty much continuously since before the Great Depression. New discussion!

Chris and I were discussing this earlier, and he said he wanted "corruption-proof politics." I said, sure, just invent perfect people, and your problem's solved. He countered that it could be accomplished by denying politicians a private life; after a few moments of reflection, I agreed with him, on the grounds that only the most dedicated could get a foot in the door. Now, I'm not so sure - what do y'all think? Also, corruption in politics ought to carry with it a life sentence, for the same reason that murder is worse when perpetrated against a defenseless victim (such as the very old or the very young). The potential to do harm is just so great that I think a rather supreme deterrent is called for. Also: no fair dying before you face the consequences of your actions! Mandatory life support for the corrupt! Yeah!

OK, I think my outrage gland has spent itself. I'm still upset, of course. Argh. Sad part is, Sorosky is right in a way: this is politics, in a lot of ways. I only use the qualifier "in a lot of ways" because corruption is not necessary (in the philosophical sense) to politics - it's contingently endemic, and for a lot of good causal reasons, but it's still not necessary. That's probably not what he meant, though - he probably meant something like "this is how politics goes," which is statistically likely to be true rather than false wherever you point.

Yeah, so... still angry, dammit. Cooling down by the minute, though. Also had a good conversation with Higgins, which I'd like to share, typos and all.

( Clickety-clack. )

So I had this conversation with Chris this morning. I said, "Hey!" He said, "What?" I said, "I bet that if I told you that Sarah McLachlan sings a song called, 'Dear God,' and I thought you'd like it, then you would think I have either A) gone crazy, or B) forgotten everything about you; and it would never once enter your mind that I was telling the truth." He responded, "Yeah, that seems about right."

This is from a whole CD she did of XTC covers. A better account of just what she believes is found here. Neat!

So I was thinking about sandwiches, 'cuz they're tasty... and then I was thinking about bookwiches, and then I got to thinking about Pegasuses... err, Pegasi... and then I thought about monocorns. The monocorn, much like the unicorn in that it has one horn, is unlike the Pegasus in that it resembles a bull rather than a horse. That's right: one-horned bull. Damn, those things would brain each other. Anyway, that got me thinking about the magnificent rhinoceros, and wondering how much it could leg press. Also, what if instead of doing the running of the bulls, it was a running of the rhinos? Just work up a bunch of rhinos into a frenzy and stampede them through some town. Goddamn... people would get crushed to death...

Yeah, I'd watch that.

At work today, B and I were discussing the recent outbreak of Christian vitriol over eight little words (there's great coverage of this type of thing over at Daylight Atheism, if you want to read more), when the following conversation took place. I should point out that everything was exchanged in pleasant tones, despite how it looks on paper. Anyway:

DB: "So are you an atheist?"
Me: "Yes, I am."
DB: "I'm sorry."
Me: "What's to be sorry about? I'm certainly not sorry."
DB: "Well, you will be."
Me: "Excuse me? Is that a threat?"
DB: "No, it's just a fact."
Me: "A fact, you say? Well, I'm very interested in believing facts. Can you tell me how you came to know this fact? I'd like to be convinced, if it's indeed true."
DB: "Well, where do you think we all came from? Monkeys?"
Me: "That's a gross oversimplification, but yes, I believe that all life on Earth is related by common descent."
DB: "Then who do you think created the whole world?"
Me: "I don't think there was a 'who' about it at all."
DB: "Then how'd it all get here?"
Me: "OK, I agree that the Earth requires explanation - but why does the Earth require explanation?"
DB: "Not just the Earth, the whole Universe."
Me: "Even better! Why does the Universe require explanation? Is it because it's so awesome?"
DB: "Well, yeah, that too - but even just why it's here at all."
Me: "OK, if the Universe is awesome, then anyone or anything that created it would probably have to be be at least as awesome, and so require at least as much explanation - but if mere existence requires explanation, then any creator, who must first exist in order to create, would also require explanation. So - where do you think God came from?"
DB: (Pause) "Well, that's just, y'know, God. He didn't come from anywhere."
Me: "Very well. And I think the Universe didn't come from anywhere, I think it 'just is' in the same way you think God 'just is.' If gods don't require external explanation, then why do Universes require external explanation?"
DB: "OK, this is getting way too intellectual for me..."
Me: "Hey, relax, I'm not saying you're wrong or anything, I'm just saying that my beliefs are at least as reasonable as yours when we start from common ground."

And later:

DB: "So do you celebrate Christmas?"
Me: "Yes."
DB: "Why?"
Me: "Mostly for the same reason that I celebrate New Year's: tradition. Also, it's a convenient time to visit my whole family at once, and giving gifts is fun. The Winter Solstice has always been a time of celebration since we figured out that the day's length waxes and wanes regularly throughout the year, so it kind of makes sense as a holiday, no matter what your religion is."
DB: "Well, it wasn't Christmas before Jesus."
Me: "Of course not, but plenty of people have celebrated the Winter Solstice in one way or another since well before the time of Christ. In fact, everything about Christmas - with the sole exception of Jesus himself - was co-opted by the Catholic Church from pre-existing pagan festivals."
B: "Yeah, you just celebrate the commercialized holiday, right?"
Me: "Well, it is a commercialized holiday, so that's true of everyone who celebrates it. I don't celebrate it strictly because it's commercialized, though - and I suspect that neither does anyone else. But even so, the Catholic Church started this whole commercialization thing by absorbing the traditions of other religions to make a smooth transition for converts."
DB: "But nobody celebrated Christmas before Jesus came around."
Me: "Look, yes they did, they just didn't call it Christmas. Everything we do at Christmas, from putting up trees to decorating with faerie lights to giving presents, was all done in pagan festivals that were celebrated long before Christ."

Our conversation was interrupted at this point by DB getting a call, which was just as well since we'd reached impasse: she was stuck on Jesus being the end-all, be-all; I was stuck on the primacy of the historical record in determining the reason for the season. That's right - for me, it's because of the Sun; but for her, it's because of the Son. (Tee-hee!) B and I then went on to discuss the importance of free speech to the marketplace of ideas. Turns out, she thinks that a policy of "say whatever you want, just not around me" is not censorship. Funny ol' world, innit?

I alphabetized & shelved my books today (YES I MOVED IN AT THE END OF JULY WHAT'S YOUR POINT) and discovered that I'm missing my copy of The Lucifer Effect by Philip Zimbardo. If anyone has this, please let me know.

Additionally, I have a copy of Searle's Rediscovering the Mind. I do not remember purchasing this book, so if it belongs to someone else (I'm thinking Jack or Higgins?), please let me know so I can return it.

Thanks!

"Yeah, gang-rape isn't exactly something you do to someone you respect."

         "There are only three things in the sea:  fish, amphibians, and mammals.  OK, maybe a couple plants."

OK, now that I'm no longer drunk on unbridled optimism and rum, it's time to take a step back and realistically assess where we're at.

Obama won. Kay Hagan ousted Elizabeth Dole in North Carolina. Proposition 4 was defeated in California. Amendment 48 was rejected in Colorado. Initiative 11 was defeated in South Dakota. Initiative 1000 passed in Washington. Propositions 1 and 2 passed in Michigan. Massachusetts answered "yes" to Question 2. Obama's victory speech was both realistic and optimistic, and met with an exuberant response from the crowd.

Michelle Bachmann retained her seat in Minnesota. Proposition 8 passed in California. Proposition 2 passed in Florida. Proposition 102 passed in Arizona. Initiative 1 passed in Arkansas. McCain's concession speech, though reasonable and dignified, was met with some pretty awful reactions from his crowd.

Theocratic ideals, though visibly receding, are still fairly entrenched; yet we do appear to be slowly ratcheting our way towards improvement. Obama's every move to fix up our economy will doubtlessly be met by the shrill cries of "Socialist!" The crazies are already coming out of the woodwork to further undermine Obama's public image, side-tracking us from the real issues with inane distractions (found via Pharyngula). We still have a lot of work to do.

In local news, the movement for calling an Illinois constitutional convention failed nearly 70-30 against. Those in-the-know who also opposed it did so for various reasons, chiefly clustering around the idea that such a convention would be a waste of money, and the idea that giving the power to revise our state constitution to our current corrupt leadership could exacerbate problems instead of fixing them. I also voted against the measure, but apparently there is a lawsuit in the works to have a new vote on the matter, on the grounds that circulated literature was misleading and measures designed to fix that problem were not followed. I'm torn on this issue; this is a legitimate problem, but the cure seems worse than the disease in this particular case; yet we do have a real need to uphold the good parts of the system on principle. I think I'm going to bite the bullet and fill out my affidavit and hope that we get this sorted out the right way.

UPDATE: Rights groups are "asking the [California] state Supreme Court to invalidate Proposition 8 on the grounds that voters did not have the authority to make such a dramatic change in state law." We'll see how this goes - I don't know enough about law to say whether this is a sound move or not, nor can I really foresee where such action could lead. As with the ICC, I'm not legally savvy enough to look past the immediate issue this seeks to address.

OK, now for more writing!